(Valley girl voice) So like, oh my god! It’s like totally bitchen that we won the game an’ stuff, and are, like, in the playoffs and everything, but, like, what is going on with the offensive line? i watched the most awesome quarterback on the planet, like, totally struggling to make plays from inside the pocket or whatever for most of the game, and i was like, gag me with a smurf! i mean don’t get me wrong or anything, i love the way our defense, like, dominated fer sure! And the offense made plays when they, like, needed to — Ekeler was super bitchen near the goal line, and that one flea-flicker to Keenan was totally awesome, but didn’t we, like, just figure out that having Zeustin Herbert, like, roll out of the pocket was the best way to, like, kick ass and throw touchdowns or whatever? And, like, now we don’t even really do that as much and it’s totally bumming me out. Like, that one game where defensive linemen or whatever were trying to, like, tackle Herbert and then he was all like “PSYCH!!” and ran outside the pocket and they all totally whiffed?!! That was so awesome!! I mean, like, take a chill pill Lombardi, I feel like your offensive scheme is like totally bogus! So like, what do you awesome dudes think, should we totally just, like, bag those pocket passes and totally do some more tubular roll outs? Is that, like, the last piece of the puzzle to get our team, like, totally kicking ass?!
Ok, well, like, fuck the Raiders and whatever. K luv you bye.
Zuestin Herbert. The Wooldog gift that keeps on giving.