HA! HA! HA! HA! I slept so good last night knowing that all of KC was so sad, bitching and crying. Watching Mahomes be sad on TV was just so beautiful. The only thing he was missing was just a massive tea bag right on his forehead!!! Sack to the dome, that’s what happened last night! Let us all rejoice! Gents I hope you survived the chiefs watch party. I also hope that you internally LOLed the whole time while the chiefs were getting kicked in the taint. To a question! What was your favorite food item that you all had at your respective Super Bowl watching locations? Chargers Super Bowl incoming. Suck an uncleaned butt Chiefs! Kluvubaiiiiiiiiiii

YEEEAHHHH BABBAAAYYYY the whole second half I was getting so fucking angry not only because of the game, but because I had 6 people giving me shit via text message all at the same time. Not a good time man!!!! There is nothing worse than the chargers imploding while your friends are giving you shit about it. Second thing, I am ready to start building Jim harbaughs statue Because in years Past, we never win that game. This team is different And it makes me very stiff baby let’s fucking go!!!! Ok guys let’s point and laugh at the raiders and chiefs now. HA HA! Suck my butt douche bags! With cam harts concussion, do you guys think Zont gets another shot to redeem his season? Jesse minter for president! Ok baiiiiiiiii

I hope this makes sense, but can you use the voice of an aggressive trucker with a giant goatee? Who also has a tattoo of an American eagle on his arm. I would like to announce that just like the Cleveland browns, I have also dropped some browns into my toilet. They looked almost the same!!! Adam rank can suck my butt with all his absurd game picks. He deserves to be the last one on the human centipede, sucking everyone’s butts. Anyway that’s enough I apologize. That garbage time TD made me go slightly soft, but not all the way. Our defense was so dominant that I found myself getting greedy. Jesse minter is a god send and we really gotta just hold him hostage so he never leaves us. Please sweet baby Jesse, never leave us. Wolfgang puck will feed you whatever you want!!! To my question, do you think Myles Garrets dong hangs to his kneecap? Because what in the actual fuck man. He low key just manhandled two all pro level tackles for a portion of the game. Honestly hats off to him What a freakin monster. Gotta give our coaching staff credit in limiting him the rest of the game. I thought that he was going to have 6 sacks by games end. I shall end with this. The raiders are just a poverty franchise man. I take so much joy in laughing at their failures. They can really suck all the butts. BOLT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Innocent small child voice if possible I apologize as I have been on a long hiatus from ask boltfam. But worry no longer, BECAUSE IM FUCKING BACK BABY! And so are the Chargers! Man I gotta give a huge shout out to Bradley Bozeman. After getting bent over most of the season and taking it in his Bung Bung, he will have my respect forever. Seeing him have our sweet baby Herbos back on that BUSHMEISTER move by that saints D lineman will forever live in my heart. & As far as that Saints guy goes, fuck you man. Suck a sweaty post game butt why don’t ya. ok a question…should we be worried about Cleveland next week? Man they looked good and I thought this game was going to be a cakewalk up until today. What a victory over the ravens. We may have to reconsider. Thoughts gentlemen? As I bid a farewell, I leave you all with this. FUCK EVERYONE BUT US! BOLT UP INTO THEIR RECTUMS! Bye bye now

*preppy high school girl voice please Oh Em Gee!!!! That game against rhe cowbitches got me so steamy and worked up! Nothing like a fat fuckin W in their house to end the pre season!. One pick, suck my butt! Two picks, suck my butt again! But 5 picks!?!? Oh em gee Can that much butt sucking be possible!? These are limits that have never been reached before and I’m loving it baby!!! I got a quick buy or sell: the football gods smile upon us, and Jesse minter leads a top 10 defense this season. I say purchase with my daddy’s credit card! Oh yeah! Also, I’d love to buy a SMB t shirt when they’re ready. I feel like I am part founder with my good old pal Tony Francis. SMB has really brought some many of us together and it’s so beautiful. Never could I imagine so much harmony. Super mighty bolts and smell my farts raider fans!

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP YOU SEXY BUTT NUGGETS! I apologize as I have been on a lengthy hiatus from ask boltfam. I really miss you guys (*do a double wink) I want to start off by saying how happy I am that Suck My Butt has taken off and is relevant once again! I will have to selfishly take credit for this comeback. However, I believe Kevin laughed about it so hard the first time, so I must concede partial credit. I must give credit where credit is due. A great job all around! Alright let's talk some football. I will be at Sofi for the Week 4 Chiefs matchup and at the Monday Night game vs the Ravens in November. So I am really hoping that we can meet in person. It will be a long wait from here on out as the team breaks for 6 weeks and we scour the depths of the earth for some Chargers news. BUT I AM SO FUCKIN READY TO GET MY THUNDER ALLEY ON BABY! DHBC Bay Area will be coming in hot this season BABY! Besides the butt pluggin Raiders Week 1, what other game are you looking forward to the most? For me its the Bengals matchup. They are going to be tough but I think it will be a good game to see what this team is really going to be made of this season. That stretch of at Cleveland, Tennesse, Bengals Ravens, at Atlanta, & at KC is a huge kick to the sack, but 3 home games in a row there is really nice. Anyway, I bid my farewell to you all. But I can't leave without saying: *Start yelling for this next part: SUCK MY BUTT RAIDERS, SUCK MY BUTT CHIEFS, SUCK MY BUTT BRONCOS, AND SUCK MY BUTT BRANDON STALEY, WE OUT!!!!!!!

Where to start? Got a few topics to touch on here. 1. Coach, It’s okay that you trimmed your beard, Even though I was loving the thickness. Your beard your choice isn’t that what they say? You’re still sexy as hell don’t you worry. 2. The nipples….(*sigh) Last week I said the only thing that would soften my nips, would be an O line pick at 5. And the encouragement I received from Kevin really inspired me to get through this moment. I have decided that I will not let anything stop me!!! After seeing the rest of the draft WE ARE FUCKING BACK BABY!!! I am going to fully trust our staff with Alt at right tackle. If this works out, we may have the best tackle tandem in the NFL. I am imagining us this season running a 4 min drill on the Chiefs in Kansas City and just POUNDING THE FUCKING ROCK UP THEIR BUNGHOLIOS!!!! Herbo in victory formation at Arrowhead is going to tingle thy nips to dangerous levels. 3. Lastly, as an Oregon Ducks fan, it pains my soul to see Bo Nix and Troy Franklin go to the Broncos. As well as Jackson Powers Johnson go to the Raiders. I must sadly move on. As they say, FUCK THE BRONCOS FUCK THE RAIDERS AND ALL DAY AND NIGHT SUCK MY BUTT KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 4. kluvyoubaiiiiiiiiiii

Hi guys I have a problem..maybe someone can help...Ever since the news of Herbert getting his contract extension, I can't seem to get my weenie to go down. It is in a constant state of excitement and I am very worried that it may not go down for the next 7 years!!!!! What do I do???? It's beginning to cause problems in my daily life. Knocking things over all the time and having it hit the steering wheel every time I turn it!!! (*cry for about 5 seconds). I've had to wear all my pants with the zipper open! I guess it could be worse, like being a raider fan. I hope someone out there can relate to my issue since (*transition to a voice that brings the fucking energy)...ITS SO FUCKING AWESOME THAT WE LOCKED UP OUR QB AND WE ARE GONNA TAKE A DUMP ON ALL OUR OPPONENTS FACES! BTFU!!!!!